MOON MAMa Amber

My journey to this moment started long ago. Another lifetime perhaps! It is complicated, beautiful, sad, and lovely. All of our stories are. The beautiful thing is that we can take what we want from our stories and have those moments become us. We have choice in the matter of what defines us, and that, my friends, is true power. So the moments I choose to share with you here are the moments that brought me to creating Moon Mama. I will be as concise as possible since I truly believe everything in my life has led me to this moment right here.

 

I was born in Alaska in the early 80's, the third child in three years and a total surprise to my mom and dad! We moved to Mesa when I was young and have all resided here ever since. I was raised LDS and was a devout member up until I enrolled in Massage School after high school. That was a massive awakening for me! Becoming a massage therapist catapulted me into my healing. After "falling away' from the Mormon church for a bit, I decided to start attending again. I met my husband in 2006 and after only a year, we were engaged, married, and pregnant. I had also gained a bonus-daughter and adorned the infamous "step-mom" title. Disney movies really ruined that role for me!

 

Marriage was INCREDIBLY hard. I struggled so intensely with feelings of worthiness and how to love and be loved unconditionally. It was through all these hard nights and torturous days and triggers and fear, that caused me to get.to.work - on myself. With a flashlight in hand, I went to all the dark corners of my soul and psyche, stripping away, dissecting, researching, questioning, holding, and loving every part of me. Still doing the work day in and day out today. I realized I loved being a stepmom, I realized I can trust and let go, allowing love to flow in freely.

 

When I became pregnant with my daughter (now 13 years old) I was in the midst of this awakening and was a big ball of stress. It wasn't until I was five months along when I finally decided to seek help. I attended a prenatal yoga class and will never forget the rush of emotion when at the start of the class we were instructed to close our eyes and speak to our babies through our hearts. I burst into tears. I hadn't connected with my little baby girl, not once, this entire time. I was so caught up in my head that I had hardly even acknowledged the fact that I was a vessel to life itself. It was at that moment, 13 years ago, that everything shifted for me. I became a certified yoga teacher, a certified prenatal yoga teacher, a doula, placenta encapsulation specialist, was trained in Muscle Testing, unleashed my inner witch, my Goddess nature, and realized I'm the creatrix of my reality. My husband and I left the Mormon faith officially and have continued along our spiritual path separate from religion.

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Each day is not chalk-full of ease and grace, but each day presents golden nuggets of grace and ease. We've had many challenges that we are still working through currently, AND we know the process of unlearning, rewiring our brains, and mindfulness are a daily practice.

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My story is far from over! Most days I feel I've hardly even begun! Merely scratching the surface of endless possibility. I'm going to stay here for a bit, in this pool of nothingness and everything, until my fingers get all pruney.